How to Pull Off Your Thanksgiving Safety Meeting In Style
Thanksgiving is built around traditions, and few traditions are more honored and yet less publicly discussed than the annual weed walk among cousins or other pot-loving relatives. You know which ones. Get more tips for how to pull off a Thanksgiving weed walk in style:
It’s got many names: The weed walk. The pre-game. The halftime stroll. The beer run. The safety meeting. Taking the dogs out. Or simply getting something from the car.
The goal is simple: Exit the family gathering to enjoy a little cannabis with your family members. Return calmed, uplifted, refreshed, and with a magically enhanced appetite.
The stratagems necessary to carry out this task are as varied as the assortment of screwballs and nutjobs that you call family.
Be Prepared (and don’t forget the weed)
Think through your exit, your activity, and what you’ll need for re-entry. You will need a reasonably legitimate excuse to leave, and you will smell like weed upon your return. Prepack your bowls and preroll your joints before you even leave for dinner, so you can roll in and out of your safety meeting like a pro in no time.
Mints or gum can help mitigate immediate post-bowl breath. Cinnamon-flavored, in particular, blends right in with Thanksgiving food offerings.
Items to stash in the car include:
- Visine eye drops
- Fabric spray or any other scented spray
- Warm outerwear for hanging outside
- Basketball, football, soccer ball, other outdoor sports items
- Outdoor dog toys, fetch items, etc
- Lighter (so you don’t end up having to hunt down 20 year-old matches)
- Papers or a bowl, or whatever vessel/device/rig you prefer
Lay Your Groundwork in Advance
Say hi to everyone before the safety meeting. Then you won’t reek of pot when you go in for a hug. Check in early with your other canna-friendly cousins so they don’t slip out without you.
If you need an excuse to leave, it’s not a bad idea to “forget” one or two items outside in the car and go “grab” them when you’re ready to toke. Maybe you offer to pick up beer or another last-minute item from the store.
Are outdoor activities your style? Bring a football or an outdoor fetch item so you can go play and partake at the same time.
Best Ways to Toke During the Safety Meeting
Vape – Vaping is a very under-the-radar way to partake. Small, discreet, and virtually no smell. The high does tend to wear off a bit faster, not ideal if you’re sitting down for a two-hour meal.
Bowl – Not ideal if you need more than one or two hits to get your buzz on, but small and fairly discreet, and easy to sanitize if you’re sharing.
Bong – Size, smoke, and discretion are obviously the problems here. That being said, I do know people that keep a bong in their car in Vermont.
Dab Rig – A popular go-to for the holidays because it doesn’t smell like weed for long, you can take a big rip, and you can use a small pipe. Be careful – if someone wants to try a dab rig for the first time, this is not the day for it.
Joint – Don’t commit to a joint unless you can get out of the house for a few minutes or maybe join cigarette smokers. If you’re sharing, roll or buy a few so people can each have their own!
Edible – Though this isn’t an optimal day for edibles, for more seasoned cannabis users a well-timed edible can help add to the vibe and mellow you out.
Be Considerate About How You Smell
Guess what? You and your clothing now smell like weed.
Keep it classy! Consider leaving your jacket and hat in the car prior to re-entering. A quick spritz of fabric or air freshener may help, as can gum or breath mints. Smells especially linger if you’ve hotboxed in your car. Wash your hands and face with Grandma’s guest bathroom soap – that powerful old lady rose scent will obliterate lingering terpenes in no time. In a pinch, some hand sanitizer will do.
Be Cautious About Giving Out Edibles
Thanksgiving is a stuff-your-face holiday, and edibles are not suitable for this particular mood. Word tends to get around when you’re handing out edibles, someone will insist on trying for the first time, and you’ll spend all evening talking them down. Or explaining why the gummies still haven’t kicked in. Or later, coaching them through being too high.
Here’s a better idea – if you have someone at Thanksgiving who wants to partake in edibles and thinks they can handle it, give them a very small or low-dose edible after dinner. They’ll have plenty of food in their stomach and a bit of time to absorb the experience. Or, at the end of the day give them one to take home and try later – with plenty of instruction on how to safely enjoy it, of course.
No One To Share With?
No weed-friendly family? Facing uptight folks or limited smoking areas? Sometimes, it’s easier and less suspicious to just go to the bathroom and vape. Give yourself a little private time in an out-of-the-way guest powder room. Remember to drop a towel over the gap between the door and the floor, aim for a window or vent if you can, and give yourself a little air freshener and time afterwards.
Remember, you’re in there ‘making room,’ and that’s why you had to spray so much air freshener. And who’s going to press for more details on that?
Be In The Moment and Thankful.
Now go. Eat. If you time it correctly, you are about to enjoy the most delicious Thanksgiving dinner you have ever experienced in your time on this Earth.
Compliment the chefs. Fill up a second plate. Be in the moment as you spend time with friends and family. Take time to ruminate and be thankful for what you have. Then, claim a cozy spot on the couch after dinner – and enjoy the dual THC and tryptophan buzz that’s sure to result in a beautiful night of sleep.