Top 6 Reasons Vermont Should Build a Border Wall Instead of Legalize Cannabis

Build That Wall!
Heady Vermont Staff 31 May 2017

Disaster was averted this weekend in New Hampshire after a texting-while-driving traffic stop near the Massachusetts border led state police to arrest a 27-year-old resident for possession of (only G-d knows how many) illegal marijuanas.

The criminal mastermind nearly eluded state police after displaying his stash in a ziplock baggy in the cup holder of his car, but dogged detective work got the perp off the streets despite his claim that he ‘only smoked it in Massachusetts.’

As Vermont will most likely spend another year with criminal penalties for possessing cannabis, and with an additional s̶t̶a̶t̶e̶ country legalizing cannabis on its borders, the solution for Vermont to continue the status quo is simple:


Build That Wall!
  1. As a reward for aligning himself with fellow Republican Attorney General Jeff Sessions, there may be federal grant money available to pay for the wall, provided we’re willing to write TRUMP on the side. If not, we’ll make the Canadians pay for it.

  2. Instead of creating hundreds or thousands of legal cannabis jobs on working landscapes, we could create literally dozens of construction jobs.

  3. It may be difficult to attract and retain younger Vermonters, but as other New England entrepreneurs become wealthy from legal cannabis, investors and business owners from Massachusetts and Connecticut will need more vacation homes and unoccupied spec houses.

  4. With walls surrounding the state, state and local law enforcement could set up check points and search the car of every single driver – not just the non-white ones – to make sure that only the alcohol users are driving in Vermont, NOT pot-smokers.

  5. Instead of treatment programs funded by cannabis tax revenues, Vermont could instead send young people suffering from addiction to join the 802 Night’s Watch and protect the wall.

  6. Instead of funding after-school programs with cannabis tax revenues, Vermont youth will be much safer spending their time mixing concrete, being trained for the junior Night’s Watch, and most importantly, learning how to identify and avoid dope fiend reefer-heads.

If Governor Scott is serious about keeping our kids safe, staying aligned with the federal government, and keeping Vermont from legal cannabis money or criminal justice reform, the wall is the only way. #BuildTheWeedWall

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